|The new carpet, without shag|
|The old, much more tasteful shag pile|
And of course the story will also be turned into a blockbuster film starring Tom Hanks as central figure Leslie Markland and Sandra Bullock as Silvie the sex-goddess. I've already given Tom Cruise my blessing for him to to play ME, on account of his height, in a cameo role, and Dame Helen Mirren will be playing Miss Baudet.
|I nearly had a sheer heart attack|
I nearly had a sheer heart attack right there on the spot, but Miss Baudet is not a lady to be messed with, and so it was off with the old tasteful rugs of before and down with the new ones sadly having no shag.
|Miss Baudet is not a lady to be messed with|