I Name This 'Ere Boat...

My Boat For My Potplants has had a few different names since it was built.

The editor of the magazine asked me to include a little of the boat's history, which got me thinking...

In the beginning it was a bit like decorating a room where you strip off layers of wallpaper and keep discovering new writings that previous owners had scrawled on the walls.

When I was given the boat it was officially registered as "KINGFISHER", named after previous owner Ron regularly saw such a bird perched at its mooring in Little Paxton.

Barely visible at that time was the previous name "SOLACE" in sweeping letters on the sides.

A few applications of paint remover revealed "TARKA", which I understand was its original name during its time as a holiday hire boat on the Norfolk Broads.

And now she (is it a "she"?) is "A BOAT FOR MY POTPLANTS". I'm certain I detected the lady at the boat insurance company giggling on the other end of the phone when I rang to renew the other day. I can't imagine why.

And of course, for the two weeks' duration of The World's Smallest Pirate Radio Station, "LOS AMIGOS" became the name of the day, but the sticker is still stuck to one of the sides - but only one, so that's okay then, eh?

Uh, oh. I've heard that it's customary to perform all sorts of rituals when changing a boat's name, but I'm afraid I haven't got round to that yet. And to smash good bottles of Champagne for no good reason is surely bordering on criminal activity, so I haven't done that either. Good grief.

Send me to the tower!