The boat 'MISS BAUDET' is a garden, party venue, writers' retreat and HQ for serious meetings with my publisher David

Friday, 18 June 2010

As Big A Plonker As Rodney

What a plonker I am! For hours today I have been repairing, re-making and renovating the windscreen for the Boat For My Potplants.

It had all come apart before the boat even got as far as Alresford Creek, so when it arrived I was faced with four sections of rotten-framed window. In fact five sections, since one of them had become two.

I hadn't a clue about which one went where, so I put on my thinking cap - and thought hard. Obviously I didn't think hard enough, for it was only when I stood back to admire my handy-work that I realised something wasn't quite tickety-boo.

There was a gap where a gap shouldn't have been. I tried to decrease the gap by screwing the screw tighter. The wood went snap. I said a naughty word out loud. Then I saw the light (through the gap), and noticed something odd with the angles. Why were they obtuse, when they should have been acute? (I now know that my O'level maths lessons would eventually come in handy one day).

I only got my port and starboard back to front, didn't I?

Watson, you absolute plonker.

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