Ten Easy And One Difficult Stages To Fitting A New Motor

1. Get motor back from somewhere in deepest Devon to top-chap Gareth at Suzuki HQ and get it checked over

2. Send motor to top-chap Tracy at Suzuki dealer in Essex - Brightlingsea Boat Park And Ride Ltd, a few miles down river from Wivenhoe

3. Get top-chap and brother-in-law Martin to lend me his trailer for a week because all the ones at Brightlingsea are in use

4. Ask Martin to drive 40 miles from his establishment - Eastern Garage in Finchingfield - towing his trailer (but his speedboat is on it)

5. Put Martin's speedboat in the water when the tide's coming in at Brightlingsea and leave trailer at Tracy's yard

6. Bring Tracy up-river to Wivenhoe with his boat, following Martin on his speed-boat.

7. Leave Martin’s boat in my mooring outside The Rose And Crown (perhaps dashing in for a swift half), and tow my boat back by Tracy’s to Brightlingsea with the outgoing tide

8. Let Tracy use his tractor and Martin’s trailer to pull my boat into Tracy’s yard

9. Leave Tracy to fit my shiny new motor over the following few days

10. Take The Boat For My Potplants back to Wivenhoe – this time under its own power, and let out a dignified “YIPPEE”

Ten easy-peasy, lemon-squeezy stages to fitting a new motor

All I have to do is to arrange a date

a) When it’s convenient with all the top-chaps involved
b) When it can’t be at a weekend
c) When the times of the high-tides have to be right

That's the difficult stage