I Don't Know Where To Begin

My head is in a flurry.

There are so many things going on that I don't know what to focus on first. Or best.

That's why, dear blog-readers that I haven't posted anything here for getting on four weeks. Never before in the history of A Boat For My Potplants have I come up with that difficulty.

Anyway, that's my problem and not yours.

So for the time being, while I try to get my concoction of things into some kind of order, I will simply write about my latest giggle being jiggled with, namely being on the cover of the world's top magazine DER ZUVERLASSIGE. Well, not me on the cover specifically, but our old Tallulah The T-Reg.

Yes, fame has beckoned once more, and the magazine has even dedicated three inside pages to the story of how we acquired our pride and joy, for which I am truly proud.

Here's what I say: it doesn't matter what you are passionate about in life, as long as you have a passion. And I salute the publishers of Der Zuverlassige for having such a passion for all things concerning old Opel vehicles, of which our Hymer Bedford Blitz falls into the category of.

Oh Crikey!

Oh Crikey indeed.

The call came through from those good people at October Films putting together a showreel to the BBC about motorhomes, and they asked me to do a few little clips for them to help their presentation have a certain 'zing' to it!

So at the weekend, in the pouring rain, my mate Ian and I went over to where Tallulah is kept. Ian became director and I, of course, was the star, darling.

And what fun we had.

Splendid Isolation

I admit I'm not known for my enthusiasm of walking.

In fact 'Erindoors told me today that she'd given up on asking me to become Mr 'Imoutdoors because she had come to expect that I'd either say 'yes' with reluctance, or 'no' because I've usually got too much to do.

So I surprised 'er by ME suggesting that we go walkies this morning.

We went to Wrabness, a gem of hidden splendid isolation on the Stour estuary in Essex.

The beach was deserted and beautiful. The air was still and the waters were calm. Mist rolled in.

We discovered a building in the making, daring to be different. How wonderful that the spirit of great design can still live in an age of planning consents and local authority 'no-no's'.

Vinyl On Tap

Chima - very happy with his new 45

On Sunday morning we had great pleasure in inviting old chums Nenah and Paul, and Nenah's brother Chima, to come aboard my Boat For My Potplants.

Chima had told me on Facebook the day before that he had bought a new 45 that he was looking forward to playing. Not realising that he was actually gracing our presence here in Wivenhoe, I invited him down to spin the disc on the boat's plattenspieler the next time he was in the area.

Lo and behold we bumped into the jolly trio at the previous night's party and so we set up an arrangement for Sunday morning breakfast aboard, along with said vinyl.

And a jolly time we had.

Me, very happy with my sausages, bacon and toms

What's At The End Of A Rainbow?

The other weekend we welcomed our friend Lesley aboard for a drink or two, and a huge financial agreement took place to rival the multi-million pound deals done in The City.

Yes indeed folks, our friend has bought her place in literary greatness by agreeing to pay ONE HUNDRED POUNDS to be part of Muddy Water - the novel that's being created on the boat. She wants to be called MISS BAUDET, and I said: 'For a hundred quid you can be called anything you like, my darling'.

She joins an elite few who are all paying to be in the book. Now we have pledges totalling the grand sum of ONE THOUSAND POUNDS - to be donated equally to charities (RNLI, MIND and the Wivenhoe British Legion) at the book launch planned for next October.

The Boat For My Potplants has proved that there really is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

Take A Gander At Our Birds

Is it Thursday? Already four whole days since Sunday's Flavours Of Wivenhoe book launch at The Royal British Legion? What an incredibly lovely event that was, with 'Erindoors and I handing out glasses of wine to the guests as they arrived to celebrate the magnificent collection of recipes submitted by the good folks from around Wivenhoe.

The book is simply superb, and it brought a lump to my throat as I read my mum's recipes for her wonderful Port Wine Jelly and Jackie's Snaffles Mousse. I can vouch for the jelly as I have actually made it with my own bare hands, and it's rather jolly good. Bless her.

And just look at the cover. What do you see? Well, Wivenhoe has adopted a trio of fine feathered friends - a pair of swans and their own adopted goose - and they can often be seen gliding gracefully on the river. There they are on the cover! And thankfully there isn't a single goose recipe inside.

Today's The Day

Yesterday saw the launch of a new Village Guide. There I was, eagerly flicking through my first edition, expecting to find pub ratings, photos of communal gardens and bus times - and what did I see? A picture of the new Damien Hertz sculpture that's come our way. It's disgusting! It's outrageous! It shouldn't be allowed.

And then later today we'll be attending the grand launch of 'Recipes Of Wivenhoe' at the Legion, but a mere stone's throw from The Boat For My Potplants. Apparently I have my SEX ON TOAST gourmet delight included, which is equally disgusting, outrageous and definitely shouldn't be allowed.

But it's all in the name of chariddy, and on the best possible toast!

I can't wait.

As they say, you don't have to be bonkers to live here, but it does certainly help.

A Novel Way To Raise Some Dosh

The Lovely Fiona. What dastardly deed will she be doing in her character?

Every Wednesday The Boat For My Potplants becomes the home of writers writing and concocting the latest in the series of chapters for Muddy Water, whilst taking it in turns to cook up a new and exciting culinary dish.

Last week David pulled the rabbit out the hat and hit new heights with his gourmet 'beef hash and baked beans'. I can honestly say I've never tasted anything like it in my life, and the effort he put into turning the tin opener like he did was something to be behold.

But did you know, dear blog-reader, that this 'ere book is going to be making a mint for some special charities? It is indeed a novel way to raise some valuable £££'s for the Wivenhoe Royal British Legion, the mental health charity Mind, and also the RNLI.

You see, I'm such a cheapskate, I'll do anything for a few quid, and here I am SELLING some characters of my book to anyone who wants to PAY to be in it.

My target is to raise A GRAND, and so far I have reached SEVEN HUNDRED POUNDS after the lovely Fiona stopped me in the street last week and thrust a cheque into my hands, just so that her alto ego could be included. Don't ask me what that dastardly deed will be, as I haven't mustered it up yet, but it may well be something pretty ghastly.

So far we've also got Andy Stollery as himself, Mark as The Praying Mantis, Lesley as Ms Baudet the childrens' nanny. And Helen the hairdresser has now also expressed an interest, which would bring the total to EIGHT HUNDRED POUNDS, and with only two characters left to buy.

Roll up, roll up. Hurry hurry, offer closing soon. Throw in your dosh before it's too late!

Sex Sells

I've got books on the brain, I have.

Not only am I writing the novel Muddy Water on board my Boat For My Potplants, there's another book about to be launched in only SEVEN days from now!

And it's not all about me, me, me, you know.

The OTHER book is the Recipe Book cooked up by some special people at The Royal British Legion (Wivenhoe Branch), including top girls Julia, Sue and Jane.

We're all going down to the official launch of the book next Sunday. And with 'Erindoors and me being contributors (me with a recipe for 'sex on toast' *, and Jane with some art), we'll be sure to get to the front of the line for our own copies.

I can't wait.

* 'SEX ON TOAST ???', I hear you ask in astonishment?

I told them that sex sells, and that's why they've had to order in extra copies to cope with the curious crowds all wanting to know the secret ingredients.

All Trim And Proper

Leather trim arrived in the post

Down to the metal after removing old cracked veneer

You may recall, dear blog-readers, that a while back I was bowled over by some international good will in the form of Rene from Holland, who is a member of the Fiat 124 Coupe Fan Club on Facebook (yes folks, there is indeed such a group, with 1,266 members and counting!).

Make a template from paper and cut new veneer to size

I had posted if anyone knew where I could get some veneer to replace my cracked and damaged console material that surrounds the base of my gear stick in Alfonso The Second.

Lo and behold, Rene went to all the trouble of sending me some, and despite my protests he refused to accept any payment!

Glue it down and add a little varnish, and trim to follow soon

That was a while ago, but sadly since receiving it, Alfonso The Second was in the Fiat hospital for quite some time, in need of some surgery (welding) in order to pass the MOT.

Well, I am delighted to report that Alfonso The Second is now fully recovered and last weekend I fitted the veneer, but to finish it off nicely I sent away for some nice leather trim to put around the edges.

That's just arrived in the post, and so I now have a very exciting Saturday to look forward to when I come to fit it.

It doesn't take a lot to get me excited.

Go Faster Stripes

I wanted to make old Tallulah go a little faster, so I thought some nice stripes would be just the ticket.

I took a great deal of care getting them nice and straight, and what with the new hand-painted cream and white paint, she's coming along quite nicely.

I could have spent a fortune on having her sprayed, but being the skinflint that I am I was very happy to buy a few tins of Hammerite and do it myself.

I'm just a boy-racer at heart.

Saturday Night And Sunday Morning

Saturday Night. 

Plastic cup of whisky.

Genesis nice and loud.

Snug as a bug in a rug.

Sleeping on the Boat For My Potplants.

Sunday Morning.

Waking on the Boat For My Potplants.

Wee in bucket.

Coffee, strong and black.

Black pudding and fried tomatoes.

Good day to the world.

In The Beginning

Genesis. In the beginning there was the greatest prog-rock band going.

And my Boat For My Potplants has played a huge part in Phil, Steve, Tony, Mike and Peter getting back together.

It was on one of my book-club evenings with David Roberts (where we discuss how my forthcoming novel Muddy Water is coming along) that he disclosed to me that he is to have a starring role in the forthcoming Genesis documentary.

My, how I rolled my eyes with envy, as I enthusiastically played my favourite track nice and loud on the boat's sound-system.

"The carpet crawlers heed their callers. You gotta get in to get out". Magnificent, we both thought.

So when David was being filmed in some seedy Soho studio being asked what his favourite Genesis song was, immediately the song we'd been listening to with such relish only a matter of hours previously instantly came to mind.

And when he mentioned the pivotal role that the Boat For My Potplants had played in his choice, the producers of the film were so sold on Wonderful Wivenhoe, that they decided to shoot the opening title sequence on the boat, with all the band members playing their instruments on the deck amongst the real and artificial flowers.

Mike Rutherford was overheard saying: "You really can't tell the difference", and Peter Gabriel elaborated by saying to Steve Hackett how he admired the picket fence. Tony Banks even began pruning the geraniums that were still flowering. "These geraniums are still flowering", he said.

I wanted to make Phil Collins especially comfortable so I brought the gorilla out of hibernation as he played a magnificent version of In The Air Tonight whilst munching on some Dairy Milk.

You can see the whole darn thing on BBC 2 this evening at 9.15. Don't miss it!

W.O.R.C.

It can only be in Wivenhoe where a meeting is called to discuss the future of The Wivenhoe Drinking Club,  er, I mean The Wivenhoe Ocean Racing Club (please note: there is no ocean and there is no racing, but there is a club, and it is in Wivenhoe, and sometimes drinks are had there).

It can only be in Wivenhoe where a motion is carried that another meeting is deemed necessary to discuss the future of said Wivenhoe Ocean Racing Club.

That's why I love it here so much. It's bonkers.

I wore my W.O.R.C badge with pride when I went to see the nice man at Suzuki to ask if they could let me have a motor for my Boat For My Potplants, and it certainly brought me good luck back then, because the nice man said yes.

Has W.O.R.C. sailed its course? We'll have to wait and see. Whatever happens in the future, it has been a fantastic concept, which has financially helped with maintenance of the lovely Royal British Legion building here on the quay.

That Time Of Year

That time of year has come round again, oh so quickly.

They say that time passes more quickly the older one gets, and for Alfonso The Second and me, we must be getting very old indeed.

I am 55, and Alfonso The Second is catching me up with a younger 46 years.

The time has come to prepare Alfonso's home for his winter hibernation. I don't want him outside in all weathers, the poor thing, and the wind around these Wivenhoe parts can be very cutting.

So from now on until the Spring, he will only be coming out on sunny days to get a little run around up to the farm shop and back.

But maybe I will venture forth and also take him, weather permitting, down to The Ace Cafe in Wembly for the once-a-month Italian car meet.

It is somewhere that Alfonso The Second has been begging me to take him to do for ages, and one of these days I may just surprise him with a little treat.

Another Secret

Last Sunday 'Erindoors and I
travelled all the way down to
London Town to the Royal Albert
Hall to see the great Nitin Sawhney.

Do check him out if you get a moment.

We wanted to stay overnight but I feinted when I looked at how expensive the hotels were around that area.

I mean, we were wanting to be in one of London's poshest areas after all, so it was hardly surprising, but I became a quivering wreck as I counted out the coins I'd saved up in my piggy bank and realised I only had enough for breakfast, let alone a bed.

BUT, all was not lost, thanks to University Rooms Dot Com. We found a room in Imperial College, quite literally NEXT DOOR to the RAH, and it was only seventy something squids - including full breakfast for us both AND use of the swimming pool and gym.

Well, knock me down with a feather, that's a good price I thought to myself, and so being a bit of a skinflint I went and booked up - but surely the room was going to be nasty and dingy and smelling of youngster students that don't know they're born.

More importantly, was I going to get a flea in my ear from 'Erindoors for being so tight with my wad?

No, Sir, it was just as good as, if not better than, any budget hotel room, except it didn't have a telly, but that
didn't bother us as we hadn't gone all that way just to watch Crossroads, or whatever they show these days. It was impeccably clean, the shower was great and powerful, everything worked, and the bed was really comfortable.

Honest, guvnor, they're not paying me to write this. It's all true!

And being just next door to such a magnificent venue meant that it didn't matter how long the missus took to get her make-up on as I knew it only took five minutes until we'd be in our seats eagerly awaiting the first performer to come on stage - who happened to be brilliant as a matter of fact (EVA STONE - check her out too - if you have another moment).

All in all it was a superb evening.

One of the best concerts I had ever been to. Certainly in my top five. And that's no lie!

The following morning we mosied on over to the uni restaurant and enjoyed mixing in with the youngsters. What a life of Reilley they all have. Not a care in the world. to be sure.

Students. They don't know they're born, do they?

Secret

Inside the Little Rabbit Barn

Listen, do you want to know a secret?

Do you promise not to tell?

As many of you dear blog-readers know, I am rather partial to a bit of good music. I can't play anything myself, but that doesn't stop me from appreciating it.

Old mate Jay

Sam

My dream gig would be three great musicians that I've had the privilege of previously being involved with. I'd have Sam Smith on lead vocals, Joanna Eden on keyboard and backing vocals, and Jay Stapley on guitar - all performing at the best secret venue there ever was.

Jo

Don't tell anyone about The Little Rabbit Barn, otherwise everyone will want to go there, and it won't remain the best secret any more.

My hat is squarely toffed to the wonderful Jonathan and Lyn who open up their secret venue once a month to host the most amazing music imaginable. 

Here's a clue - it's not far from The Boat For My Potplants.  

Lyn and Jonathan do what they do at The Little Rbbit Barn because they are passionate about live music