The Magic Carpet Ride

The new carpet, without shag

The old, much more tasteful shag pile 

Muddy Water - my forthcoming best-selling novel will of course one day be available from major retailers around the entire world, translated into many languages, but initially Wivenhoe Book Shop may stock a copy or two, in English.

And of course the story will also be turned into a blockbuster film starring Tom Hanks as central figure Leslie Markland and Sandra Bullock as Silvie the sex-goddess. I've already given Tom Cruise my blessing for him to to play ME, on account of his height, in a cameo role, and Dame Helen Mirren will be playing Miss Baudet.

I nearly had a sheer heart attack

Miss Baudet is a leading character who has bought her way into Muddy Water. In the book and in real life, she comes aboard my Boat For My Potplants, and to my utter shock and horror she doesn't care much for the flowers OR the shag-pile carpet.

I nearly had a sheer heart attack right there on the spot, but Miss Baudet is not a lady to be messed with, and so it was off with the old tasteful rugs of before and down with the new ones sadly having no shag.

Miss Baudet is not a lady to be messed with

And just like shagpile carpets, all great things can come to an end - or at least a change of course set by the compasses of life, and as      life follows fiction, so can fiction  also mirror life.

The Merging

It's funny how fiction and reality sometimes merge. Miss Baudet is a fictional character within my Muddy Water book who visits Wivenhoe, falls in love with the Boat For My Potplants and wants it - but without the flowers. Some people are so strange. How could anyone not want the flowers?

Boat Without My Potplants

I invited Paul, The Caravan Man onto the boat this week so that he could fit a new leisure battery for me. I can't complain - I've had the old one for five years now, but it was only managing about 45 minutes of life, even after a full sun-charge from the solar panel. I had my money's worth out of it, especially when I look back at some of the wild parties we've had on board.

Paul previously helped me with bringing Tallulah The Motorhome into the twentyfirst century, so I knew he was a jolly good fellow, and he didn't let me down this week on the Boat Without My Potplants.

Not only has Los Amigos now got a new battery to enable more partying well into the night, but he also fitted a new lamp and strip light.

After he left I continued to give the interior a bit of touching up with some white paint here and there, some wood stain where it needed it, and then a good old clean on the exterior.

And why oh why had it taken me FIVE YEARS to make the gang-plank more easy to walk across without risk of falling in the mud? I suppose it just never occurred to me until now.

My next job: A NEW NAME for the Boat Without My Potplants. What could it possibly be?

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

Indeed. In the name of the Great Spring Clean, where have all the flowers gone from the Boat For My Potplants?

Infact, I can hardly call it my Boat For My Potplants anymore, can I.

What'll I do?

Back To The Beginning

Today I went back to where it this began - on The Boat For My Potplants.

The new year brings with it the need for a good spruce up, inside and out, so today I made a start.

Inside the cabin I had a right old tidy up, sorting out this and that, tit for tat, and I confess that I metaphorically shed a tear as I looked around at some of my favourite things. But nobody saw me, so that was alright then, eh?

As well as that silent tear, I also enjoyed a loud chuckle as I recalled the many hours of bringing the boat to life after it had lain dormant and damp for years on the River Ouze.


For example...there was the mermaid picture sent to me by Chelmsford artist Cherry Ann after she read about the boat in Essex Life magazine...

For example...hanging the skull and crossbones for when we did the World's Smallest pirate Radio Station...

For example...fixing my Fungus The Bogeyman mirror to the wall...

For example...finding a special place for my son's ceramic tile that he made me...


For example...bringing a bit of up-market decor with the plastic leaded light windows...

...and of course arguing with 'Erindoors and the rest of the world about whether to have artificial or real flowers on board The Very Special Boat For My Potplants