Dear Chris Evans...

Dear Chris Evans, top dj at BBC Radio 2

Last year I created THE WORLD'S SMALLEST PIRATE RADIO STATION, and 'broadcast' my programmes from inside the boat. It was lots of fun, and raised £147 for the Royal British Legion by listeners paying for their favourite song to be played.

But to be frank, as my old teachers at school used to say 'Neil tried hard, but could do better'.

Did you know, Chris, apart from us both being disc jockies, we have a few more things in common?

We both have a boat. Admittedly, yours cost a little more than mine, as mine was FREE!

We both have Italian classics. You have Ferraris, and I have an old Fiat with a bit of rust

We both have played golf. You at Sunningdale, and me on top of the boat


We both write. You've done two books, read by millions, and I do this 'ere blog, read by dozens

The reason I'm writing is to ask if I could come to your BBC studio and watch, listen and learn from you, the Master of Radio. PLEASE!

I promise to be good and quiet and not get in the way.