Sacré Bleu!

Following the incredible book launch of Florida Key in The Village of Books (Montolieu) back in June, I finally managed to obtain a copy of the newspaper in which it was covered, for all to see. 

But I didn't really understand what it said, until I got it translated recently.

I read it with eager anticipation. I smiled at the reporting. I laughed at 'Elton John' comment. 

But then . . . WHAT???!!!

Zut alors, mon dieu, et SACRÉ BLEU. PAH!

ONLY THREE TRACKS - So hard to choose

I hadn't seen my daughter Laura for a while until last night, when I mentioned to her about my forthcoming interview on the radio to talk about Harry, and having to choose ONLY THREE tracks to play.

Laura, an excellent artist, had previously helped me with my Muddy Water novel by being photographed for the cover, and in which she illustrated the main characters of the story. When I wrote the book, I included as many Nilsson references as I could get away with.

At my request, she drew the main character as a certain singer-songwriter. It was my private nod to the man.

Last night, when I told her of my dilemma over which tracks I should choose to play on the radio, she surprised me.

I had no idea that she even knew any Nilsson songs, let alone liked any, when she said: "Dad, you have to include 'Sail Away' - it's amazing!"

And of course she's right.

How could I have left that one off my list?

 And what about 'Salmon Falls'?

Because of her suggestion, I've been revisiting the two LPs that those songs come from.

They are SO good.

This is SO hard.

Blimey - where's the time gone?

Jane and Derek getting set

So we returned from La Belle Francaise last Thursday night.

Lots going on there, and here, as always.

Jane gets an exhibition at the fab Maison de Textile in Montolieu. It really IS a fab place. Wish we could be there, but she has ANOTHER exhibition here in Wivenhoe. I can't keep up.

And at the same venue in Montolieu, next Easter, Derek and Monique at the Maison de Textile will be hosting my old mate Joanna Eden to sing a few of her delicious songs. I hope she will sing a few songs from her new album 'Truth Tree'.

I've reminded her that she's duty-bound to also sing a Nilsson song.

And talking of Nilsson, I will be on BBC Essex Radio September 30th, talking a few heartfelt words of nonsense about the American singer-songwriter who I have been a fan of ever since I was 13.

Fab venue for Joanna Eden next Easter

Nerve Centre Week 2

Well, I did dinner on the boat - cooking on gas. Fillet steak no less.

All jolly good, but The Boat Currently Without Any Potplants is lacking a certain necessity as well as plants - namely a dining table. We had to make do with the rear deck. Mon dieu! Sacre Blue.

As 'Erindoors (yes, she's back!) would say to me: "Why do you always have to make something so simple into something so complicated?" She does have a point.

I could buy a folding table from The Range for twenty squids.

Or I could even make one myself out of a bit of B&Q ply.

But that wouldn't be me.

So, I'm hoping that my good neighbour from across the road, Sam, can help me when he next goes to Cornwall to his fab place that we want to rent next year.

You see, I've asked him to look out for a surfboard that I can saw in half and turn into a boat-table. It's all very logical to me. I hope Sam can find one for me. There's an Aldi steak in it for him if he can.

Nerve Centre Week 1

Town Councillor Phil Booth Delivering Big News

A week of extraordinary heat saw 'Erindoors and me working outdoors in temperatures far beyond what we were used to. Felt like 100 degrees plus. We felt and looked miserable from first thing.
And it wasn't only that . . . It was a full-on week, for sure.

Monday: Prison
Tuesday: Royal Acadamy
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday: Another quality job painting Alice's Cottage (no job too small, etc etc)
Friday evening respite: RAIN. The first for over 50 days. Phew, what a scorcher that was.

'Erinoors and me. High temps predicted

And then, as if a mirage of hope upon the horizon, Phil (aka Phil Booth, Cincinnati Police Cop in Florida Key) came to The Boat Currently Without Any Potplants, to deliver some exciting news to me! VERY EXCITING. Written in caps, as Mr. Trump would do.

Apparently, the Mayor of Wiv is up for my suggestion of twinning our town with Montolieu. I know I oughtn't use too many '!'s. But, fuck it,  I will. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a 'Working Committee' meeting is all set for 10th August to discuss what the next stage outta be.

Watch this space. I'll be buying the Powers That Be a few beers that evening, with my fingers firmly crossed behind my back for a positive motion for going forward.

The lovely 'Alice's Cottage'

Who knows where this may lead?

Certainly not me. I had no idea.

The Nerve Centre

The Boat Currently Without Any Potplants has now been renamed 'The Nerve Centre', and it has its own fish'n'chips bar on its rear, er, I can't remember what it's called. Lined up and ready with sauces and vinegar.

It's the place where my publisher (I still love saying that - it sounds so decadent and important), David Roberts and I go to hatch new and exciting marketing plans to help Florida Key to sell like hotcakes.

"You know that point-of-sale display we made out of your Missus' shoe-boxes to put by the till at the Co-op and on the bar at the Black Buoy? Well, how about we give away a hot cake with every book at the Co-op, and perhaps a bag of pork scratchings at The Black Buoy?" I suggested, with enthusiasm.

Unfortunately David wasn't listening.

He was too busy consuming his bottle of Sarsons Malt*.



* For non-Brits - that's a brand of vinegar

P's and Q's

This morning was another humbling one when I visited the library of Chelmsford Prison to talk with the inmates about the process of writing  - and hopefully getting the message across that it can be a positive thing to do, and never mind the comas and periods, let alone the p's and q's.

I waffled on about the story behind Florida Key, the writing process and the inspiration behind the story.







In my case it was a key I bought from a flea market that turned out to be from a prison (ironic, considering where I was). And a bike ride I took years ago when I met a Japanese cyclist going the other way in the middle of Kansas.

I don't suppose I sold many books today, but that wasn't the point of the excercise.

Like a Millpond

I spent a second night aboard Miss Baudet. And not because I've been kicked out by the present 'Erindoors, no sir!

With our home being fully occupied this weekend, last night a golden opportunity to take myself to The Boat Currently Without Any Potplants presented itself. With great chivalry I gave up my bed. I could have occupied the sofa, but the chance of waking up to the sound of seagulls and egrets squawking away was too hard to resist.

The call of nature eventually persuaded me to return home in the early hours to avail myself of the more comfortable facilities there - but I couldn't resist strolling along to the end of Wivenhoe pier to gaze at the river that was as calm as a millpond, with the incoming tide steadily creeping along its watery path.

Happiness is merely feedback of the current surroundings. Contentment is where it's really at.

First Night

It’s Friday night, and the first to be spent on the boat for many a year.
I have radio, duvet, wine, pillow.
Vegan (which I’m not but quite happy to have) is on its way.
There may be a storm tonight, or so they say.
I almost hope the weather prediction is correct.
Luvly Jubbly.

Mon Dieu! I'm in the papers.

I just found out that I'm in the papers!
A report relating to Florida Key's launch in Montolieu in the Carcassonne L'Independent, no less.
I won't know what it says until I've found my dictionary.
Something about me being a Big Pompe?

Negotiations

After a period of lengthy and tense negotiation, lasting approximately 30 seconds, the owner of Miss Baudet - Miss Baudet herself - has finally conceded that any boat worthy of the title A Boat For My Potplants does indeed need potplants on her.
And Astroturf.
And a Hi-fi.
And about time too.

Hic

It's a really tough job being an aufor.

Especially when you can't quite work out how to bring all the strands of the plot together towards the end.

But when the publisher says "just drink some wine and write whatever comes to you, and you can tidy it up in the morning", now it all makes perfect sense to me.

So, here's to Florida Key.

Hic.

Direction Unknown

The fun thing about writing a few woids for Florida Key is that I don't know the direction they take until I go down that specific path.

It's like watching a film unfold in front of my eyes.

I had no idea that Yushi Yakamoto was gonna get pulled over by the cop, until he was.

Leaving

Sad to leave Montolieu and all that went with it. I got a lot of writing done. Florida Key is now well under way.

Who would have thought that a humble bicycle-handlebar radio could be such an effective moider weapon? Florida Key is coming, just as soon as I can get all the woids out, all in the right oider.

Hard Day at the Office

Hard at work in the office, I had discovered my character creativity was in correlation with the wine consumption.

Chief Moores and Sergeant Staples were no exception. Forensic scientist Katie Copeland was by this time in the bag, but I was waiting for the right opportunity for Mr. Dickinson and Miss O'Mahoney to come into the scene.

It was wine-o'clock time again. My routine was to be creative and let the thoughts flow freely. Then in the morning, the coffee would help me correct the errors. And there were many, to be sure.

End of Part One

To celebrate nearly completing Part One of Florida Key, I invited local good-guys Robbie and Jason to come round for a music night

My Set-Up

In February 2017, I took a month off 'normal' work, and set myself up in The Writer's Retreat in Montolieu.

Financed by my credit card, but crossing fingers that the crowd-funding by 'selling' characters in the book, would eventually pay off.

So, on warm winter days, I'd sit up on the terrace, and think of Florida.

My routine for 30 days: Crisps, check. Wine, check. Music, check.

Here we go . . . "Once Upon A Time"

Ooh la la, mais oui. It's a wonder I'll ever get past Chapter One at this rate. I'll just have one more to lubricate the mind.

Wine Time at Work

I was soon on a roll, helped by the incentive of wine-time to help oil the brain cogs.

The target was 5,000 words, and I managed it. "Just get the story down", I'd been advised. 

The following morning I could go back and make sense of it.

And sometimes I'd even resist the wine, and go for a Virgin Mary instead. Hail.

When Florida Key Began

It was back in November 2016 that I began writing Florida Key.

I had a rough idea in my mind as to some of the elements to the story. But it was one thing to have ideas in the head - a very different thing to begin actually working on it.

I was fortunate that I had a nice place to go and write - the place in Montolieu, France - known as The Village of Books.

If I couldn't get creative there, I wouldn't manage it anywhere.

Here, after 2,400 words down, I was invigorated, and felt I'd done a good day's work.

It certainly beat doing painting and decorating.

Dedication

This writing mullarkey has been getting to me. Here, my publisher, David Roberts proudly (and rightly so) holds aloft his latest tome, the only biography ever written about Mr. Stills, of CSN&Y fame.

I'm very excited to have been given a dedication - my first ever - in a book. His words: "For my 'brother' in music Neil, who convinced me I must write this book..."

Ta David, I'm thrilled alright.

You Wouldn't Believe It

You wouldn't believe the amount of STUFF that has to be done just to write a blinking book.
When you think you've finished, there's MORE to be done.
MORE corrections.
MORE rewriting.
MORE editing.
But it's all a lot of fun.
Then there's the PLANNING for the launch, which is another blog for another day.
It's all worth it though, when you can see it up on Amazon for pre-order.

Quite exciting, I have to say.

On The Cover

Wey hey!

I've always wanted to be on the cover of something.

Anything would do, as far as I'm concerned.

And to celebrate having just sent off the final manuscript to the proof-reader, I'm soon going down the Black Buoy to have a pint or three of Guinness (not too cold, mind) - just like one of the characters in the book does.

I can't help reflecting, however, on editor David Roberts and me having had to contend with a broken 'O' on his computer while we worked away tirelessly.

I'm sure that doesn't happen at HarperCollins.

Oh well.

Cheers!

In response, David pointed out that he hpes I have a lvely time at the Black Buy.

Helpful. Nt!

Bloody Hell!

I shouldn't blame my computer - it's all my fault for being such a twit.

There I was, slaving away on the edits to Florida Key, correcting a Word document, as authors do.

Then I realised that I've been correcting the wrong document, and had to go back over thousands of words to work out exactly where I began going wrong.

Some might say that I began going wrong at the very beginning, but I'm having none of that.

After HOURS AND HOURS, I finally figured out where I was, and what I was doing - and now I'm all up to date. Time for a celebratory cup of tea.

Take Cover!

"You'd be, like, really smart not to miss out and buy the book everybody's talkin' about. A lotta bad things happen in it. It's tremendous. Amazing. Terrific. Believe me, it's all fake. This is a work of fiction, and it's gonna be huge."

There's a lot of news right now concerning the country in which Florida Key is mainly set.

I may as well have a bit of fun while I'm getting on with the editing.

And here is the latest cover, featuring ME on the cover. I'm still looking a bit overweight, but apparently Designer David had to trim AN ENORMOUS amount of my stomach off. I hate to think what I looked like before.

Getting Serious

For Florida Key, the plot-line was inspired by a bike-radio

It's Sunday today.
I have almost a whole day to get on with some work on Florida Key.
Editing, editing, editing. The willpower required to get on with it is enormous.
It's very easy to get side-tracked into doing something else.
Like now.
So before I begin with that, I thought I'd do a blog post.
Today, no more jokes - this is now SERIOUS.

For anyone remotely interested in knowing what the key stages are in 'how to write a book', here they are (for this author, at least), divided into segments;
THE STORY, THE PROCESS, THE PRODUCTION, THE PUBLICITY, THE LAUNCH, THE MARKETING, and hopefully THE SELLING:

THE STORY
1. Get an idea (easy)
2. Think up a rough plot-line (easy)
3. Begin writing the first draft (still quite easy)
4. Work out how the story can develop (getting harder)
5. Keep writing to the end (hard)
6. Read over what you've written (easy)
7. Make sense of it all (impossible)
8. Go back and make some corrections (work)
9. Re-write the whole thing and repeat points 1-8 above until 2nd draft is complete (frustrating)
10. Re-write again until 3rd draft is finished (satisfying)

After THE STORY comes THE PROCESS, and I'll cover that in the next blog-post.
Because now I really must get on with EDITING, and not BLOGGING.

Don't Panic!

As Corporal Jones would have said, "Don't Panic, Mr. Mainwaring!"

But I can't help it - I've got myself in another fine mess by declaring the launch date of Florida Key to be April 22nd in Wivenhoe, and June 24th in Montolieu...

AND THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO

I can't even begin to think of the launch, the promo, the music, the invitations, the food, while I'm still working on the words, going through all the edits, corrections and cock-ups.

And I'm only about half way through, which means I've got another half a book-full to get through.

But never mind - thanks to Adrian at the favourite (and only) wineshop I know, I am at least able to get my head around the drinks provision, so no need to worry, I'm telling myself.

So, we're not all doomed!

Characters

Selling my soul to the Devil. Or is it to the Angel? Is it wrong to let real people pay their hundred squids or so to become all-important parts in the unfolding story of Florida Key, as I weave their way into the plot?

I don't know, but I think not. I hope not.

After all, it's been an incredible way of crowd-funding - enabling this 'ere writer to do da writing instead of da decoratin'.

And here's a couple of examples - Kerry and Chris, who are 'Kerry and Chris', firstly located
in Anna Maria Island, Florida - and then latterly in Plainfield, Indiana.

What's It All About

There's more to writing a book than just writing the book, you know. Not only do you have to do countless edits and rewrites, there's also the matter of publicity press releases - and the all-important cover. Is it all worth it, I constantly ask myself. Some days the answer is no, but thankfully, more often than not, I say yes.

Below is my third try, and it still didn't make the grade. 

It's the cover where you have to try to get across, in a limited number of words, what it's all about. Not as easy as you may think, and I know from raw experience. I attempted several times, and then gave up, concluding that my publisher would be far better at the exercise than me.

BRIEF SYNOPSIS OF THE STORY (147 words)

A keen cyclist, 17 year-old Oliver Markland goes on holiday to Florida, and while there he buys an old key from a flea market. He discovers later that it was actually a prison cell key, and he becomes obsessed with learning about one of the inmates, Yushi Yakamoto, an American young man of Japanese parentage, who had always professed his innocence until his execution for the brutal 1981 killing of Sandy Beach while on his epic cycle ride across the United States during that year.

In his new job as investigative journalist for a local newspaper, Oliver hopes to clear Yakamoto’s name and returns to America, determined to uncover the truth about what really happened in 1981. But in doing so he stirs up a hornet’s nest and finds himself in present-day danger from the man who for years had thought he’d gotten away with Sandy’s murder.

Slogging Away

If anyone tells you that it's easy to write a book - don't believe them.

It's Christmas Day, and I should be sleeping like a log since Christmas eve, waking up late and taking it easy.

What do I do instead? Wake up at 3am and think: "I've got an hour or so to get on with some editing from the Editor's notes," and get cracking with another chapter.

At this rate, I'll be finished - properly finished - by mid January. But I have to be disciplined to achieve my goal.