SOME IMPORTANT CHANGES

Yes indeed. During this lockdown I've snuck down to the boat to make a few small, but essential changes.
For example the right-hand loudspeaker wasn't completely straight, so that demanded immediate and radical attention.
The curtains are now all up, thanks to the efforts of the wonderful 'Erindoors.
And there's now a telly, although not yet connected up. The telly is so that David the Publisher and I can have our regular Book Clubs aboard* with a background of music videos playing.
Of course the ancient Grundig amp is still there, firing up those Mordaunt-Shorts divinely, and it's neatly tucked away now in its own little cubbyhole.

But some things will always remain the same, apart from the song. The view from the back of my Boat For My Poplants is still the best in Wivenhoe. All that's still missing is a potplant - which is why I've now got a potty, ready for an artificial delight that will follow shortly.

* After things return to some sort of norm**, and social distancing is no longer a prerequisite to all activities.
** I haven't mentioned it before on this 'ere blog, but there's a nasty virus going round worldwide, and so none of us can meet up, which is a great pity, as I'm missing my mates down the pub - as are we all.

IT'S CURTAINS

I came to the conclusion a while back that my poor old Boat For My Potplants was indeed in need of a bit of a pick-me-up.

It was looking tired and uncared for, untidy and, dare I say, a little dirty.

It was time for a repaint and a clean, putting things away in their places, and generally having a good old sprucing-up.

Luckily for me, my reliable 'Erindoors (Jane) offered to make me some new, brighter curtains - using some left-over material she had lying around in a box under the bed. Perfect.

But we didn't have any tape that goes along the top, where the hooks get hooked (I don't know what its technical name is) - so she ordered some from our local Colchester Franklins shop (https://www.franklinsgroup.com). Sadly, the physical shop is currently closed due to Coronavirus*, but they are still taking on-line orders, and an on-line order was duly placed - but unfortunately for not enough. One of us mis-calculated, and it may well have been me.

Anyway, a second order was placed - and lo-and-behold, the lovely lady from Franklins turned up at our doorstep the very same evening to personally deliver it. Now, that's what I call GREAT service.

So, Jane was able to get on and brighten up the boat, after I'd finished giving it a fresh lick of paint.

Tune in tomorrow folks, and I'll update you with what I've been doing with the onboard record player. 

I bet you can't wait. 

* (One day soon I will do a blog about Coronavirus - it's so unbelievable, and I'm sure in years to come I'll have to pinch myself that it really happened)

Extraordinary Times

For so long, I've been dreaming of having time on my hands to get back to doing my blog, finishing my book, updating social media pages - just doing anything creative that normal living, jobs, commitments have been getting in the way of.

I'm hoping that one day in the future I will look back at this picture, and ask myself why did I hang rainbows.

For today, just the picture is enough.

Meet Rolo

Let me introduce Rolo to you.

She's meant to be a full English Cocker spaniel but Joss, the owner, suspects she may have a bit of dachshund in her or something else!  Joss got her in Dubai, although she was originally from Hungary. And now she lives in Wivenhoe. She's certainly a well-travelled dog.

I've always welcomed pooches on the Boat With A Few Potplants, and Rolo must be at least the tenth canine to set paws on the deck.

And very pleased I was too when she came aboard - after all, I needed to get acquainted with her as she is a central and pivotal character throughout my latest blockbuster, Mister Tap.

Rolo plays herself, and Mister Tap is her master. Or is it the other way round?

WHAT A PAIR

What do I do on the boat once a week, every week, and have been doing so for the last few years?

Well, I'll tell you what I do, what I really really do.

I meet with my publisher, editor, cover designer and good friend David Roberts.

Although we spend most of our time talking blx, we do actually have serious 'Book Club' meetings to discuss how to move forward with whatever our current project at the time is.

Currently it's 'MISTER TAP', to be published 2020.

To help things flow, we take in in turns to bring the wine, or do the food.

Both of us play the sounds.

It's an essential part of the book-writing process. 

NO TIDE

Well, I didn't overcome my fear associated with taking the boat out.

Apart from the threat of poor weather hanging in the air, there was another insurmountable problem to contend with - I had misread the tide height, and it just didn't come up high enough to float us for long enough.

So we went for a meal instead at Wivenhoe's very own Syrian restaurant. Excellent vegan fare, and highly recommended. https://www.theolivebranchwivenhoe.co.uk/

Actually, I was much relieved that I couldn't take the boat out - but it's still on my list of to-do items.

I won't be satisfied until I've done it, but that will have to be next year now.

Overcoming The Fear

It might seem a piece of cake to all you boaty people out there, but not so for me.

But this year is MY year for overcoming my fears.

First off, in May I drove my 51-year-old Fiat to Laon in France to attend a classic car gathering of epic proportions. Previously, I'd not gone much further than to the Co Op in Wivenhoe - and there I was doing a round-trip of around 700 miles.

And I lived to tell the tale.

And now I plan to take out the old Miss Baudet (aka A Boat For My Potplants) at high-tide on 22nd September.

Yes indeed, I'll be firing up that Suzuki 9.9 and easing out onto the River Colne, and setting compass for Rowhedge.

It's a long way, for sure - at least one nautical mile there and back.

I'm shivering me timbers in fright already.

Blimey!

Blimey! What a week it's been.

Jane has been preparing her art exhibition. She's so cool, calm and collected that it didn't seem to faze her one bit.

We've both been preparing our Open Garden on top of Miss Baudet. I hope she doesn't mind! That was less cool, calm and collecting for me. Can you imagine the trauma when I discovered that the original tiger that had been offered, had been sold. But Nellie the Elephant came along instead.
Phew, that was a relief! And then we found a little tiger anyway.

And as well as all that going on, it is with great honour, I find myself welcoming 7 friends from Montolieu, France (including Monsieur le Maire and his wife) to our little town, to see Wivenhoe for the first time, and to attend our own Mayor's Ball this weekend. But these things don't just happen by accident, you know - it takes years of meticulous planning. Well, a few days, at least.

I would never have imagined two years ago, when I sheepishly suggested the idea of a 'town friendship' between Montolieu and Wivenhoe to Monsieur le Maire, that he'd actually be here, with an entourage that includes his wife, the museum curator, a bookshop owner, a restauranteur, an interpreter, and a wineshop owner.

.

C'est fantastique!

Never A Dull Moment

In just a week and a half from now, it will be the Wivenhoe Open Gardens, and I've promised to make a display on the top of my boat. Not only that, Jane will be participating in the Spring Presence art trail.

So, yesterday, not to miss a bargain, in preparation I bought some astroturf from Aldi.

Coinciding with that weekend, a delegation of 7 friends, including the Maire of Montolieu who joined me on stage at my book launch last year, will be coming to visit Wivenhoe to attend our own Mayor's Ball.

In my excitement, I ordered some French flags!

I hope this will be the beginnings of great things to come - of cultural exchange and friendship between our two unusual, friendly, quirky and creative towns.

Elephant Found!

I found an elephant!
And a tiger.
I have the boat.
All I need is a jungle like I had for the gorilla.

Elephant Wanted!

Miss Baudet (the current name for The Boat For My Potplants) went naked, all for the sake of preparation.

When one is invited to take part in this year's Wivenhoe Open Gardens, one must have one's boat spic and span - and that means one must clean the canvas canopy.

This entails one taking it off, pressure-washing it, and putting it back on - unfortunately in gale-force winds.

It wasn't easy, but with thanks to 'Erindoors, one managed it.

Now one has to think up how to turn the boat into a garden.

Last time it was with a gorilla.

This year, especially as Nellie the dwarf twin elephant in 'Mister Tap' is fresh in one's mind, one is now in search of a Nellie-lookalike.

And, as the Maire of Montolieu MIGHT be visiting that weekend, one wants to put on a good display.

So, if anyone has one to lend one, do let one know.

Ta very much.

Spice of Life

 I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want.

The boat is coming back to life, with the recent addition of a secondhand record player I recently bought.

However, in this day and age of modern technology, I really ought to go all bluetooth so that I don't drain the battery after having the amplifier on for half an hour.

So, all I have to do is rustle up a few crisp tenners and buy myself what I really really want.

I want two Minirigs speakers and a bluetooth turntable by Audio Technica.

The speakers are amazing. I wonder if they'll give me a couple if I ask politely.

No, probably not.


So, my finger keeps hovering over the 'BUY NOW' button on Amazon.

My heart says 'press', but after looking at my Barclaycard statement, my head say's 'don't'.

Caterpillar

In the name of research, I went round to wildlife expert Chris, who happens to live nearby, to ask him all about the Processionary Caterpillar.

Why, you may ask?

Fair question.

Well, it's all because Sebastian from the Casquette et Chapeau has a stick thrown at him by Mister Tap, according to my latest multi-singular blockbuster 'Mister Tap', currently under construction.

The stick missed its target, but unfortunately hit the nest of deadly caterpillars hanging from the branch above Seb's head.

Oh dear! Unfortunately for Seb, the inhalation of the micro-hairs from the little creatures could be fatal.

What on earth might happen? Will he be saved, just in time?

I dunno. I haven't written it yet.

Demises

I'm currently hard at work, plotting Mister Tap, and how the various characters meet their demises, which they surely must do.

And then there's also the staircase, and the cupboard at the bottom.

There are only three people who know what's in it.

And I'm one of them.

In Montolieu

Last week I was lucky enough to be in Montolieu, at the Writer's Retreat, doing some more 'Mister Tap'.

What a bloody horrible week it was.

I had a cough, I had a cold, I had a bad back, the weather was shit, 'Erindoors had to cancel coming at the last minute, and my cooking ain't wot it oughta be, as can be seen by my sauce that went slightly wrong.

Oh yes, and the car had a flat battery, twice - the first time when I arrived, and the second time just before going to the airport.

Apart from all that, it was great!

But I did manage to complete the current 20 chapters, and that's what I set out to do.

And I also had a very successful meeting with Monsieur Maire (not Monsieur le Mairie - Mr Town Hall, as I mistakenly called him at last summer's book launch), and I think because of the lure of having apperos on my boat, he may be coming to Wivenhoe in May.

He will be most welcome.

We Have Lights, We Have Heat, We Have Liftoff

Miss Baudet is coming back to life as a Writer's Retreat. The solar panel works a treat, and even though it was nut-freezing weather outside, inside was warm and toastie.

The Minnesota Mousse, thanks to good friend Katie from the US, was well-placed.

The first Book Club of 2019 aboard the Wivenhoe Writer's Retreat On The Mud went very well for publisher David and me, with fish and chips from up the lane, and creative juices flowing as freely as the wine.

So many ideas, they were brimming over.

Lights!

Pretty soon The Boat For My Potplants will be reinstated as the place to go for writing 'Mister Tap', my third novel, in which Oliver Markland plays a pivotal role.

But before I can settle in, I need lights - as well as a record player, speakers, a heater, a stove, kettle, wine store, and perhaps a potplant or two.

At least I now have the lights - and they work, thanks to The Caravan Man, aka Paul, who came and fixed them.

Nerve Centre

When I began renovating an old boat some years ago, I had no idea it would become the Nerve Centre for the Hornet Books Writing Emporium. 

Last night, publishing guru David Roberts and I sampled Co-op tinned stew while we discussed the plot of the forthcoming Mister Tap. 

I explained how "once upon a time Mister Tap lived in an old chateau and that an elephant escaped the circus and ended up squashing Brigadier Breach in the hallway."

All very plausible after a little wine had been consumed, and the added dumplings were delicious.

Back On Track

After years in the estuary wilderness, my Boat For My Potplants (currently aka Boat Without Any Potplants) is coming back to flourish.

Today I had a solar panel fitted by Paul, The Caravan Van. Good chap. In fact, Very Good Chap.

So, I'm nearly all up and ready now for 2019 and whatever it will bring.

Looking into my crystal ball, I see 'The World's Smallest Pirate Radio Station' striking again once more, now that I have facilities for a record player.

I see parties at night, now that I have lights.

I see the writing of my third novel, 'Mister Tap' on board, now that I have a power socket for a laptop.

I see a few glasses of wine, and some tinned curry from Tesco.

I see a gorilla in the midst of some potplants.

HERALD NEWS - read all about it!

In Adrian's wine shop

How extraordinary.

An article appeared about 'Florida Key' and its author (that's me) in Joliet, Illinois' newspaper, with the headline featuring the Folger Adam manufactured prison key that inspired me to write the story.

Resulting from that, I was contacted by two individual ladies, both of whom had direct connections with the company.

Susan Carlton very kindly sent me a copy of the rag to me while I was in France recently - and I had pleasure in reading it in the best place in town - Adrian's wine shop.

Ralph Luebs

Barbara Carnaghi sent me a sketch of her late father Ralph Luebs, who had been the Vice President of Operations at the time of his passing in 1982. She recounted her memory as a child visiting the prisons with her dad in which the Folger Adam locks were utilised.

What a fascinating journey I have been privileged to journey on since beginning this writing mullarkey.

I'd do anything

You know you've made it onto the Celebrity Z-list when you get asked to reopen a pub!

But what an honour it was to be there to officially welcome customers to the newly revamped Rose & Crown in Wivenhoe. 

Cheers to manageress Claire.

She knew I'd do anything to read a paragraph from Florida Key.

And she knew I'd do anything for a free glass of wine.

Sacré Bleu!

Following the incredible book launch of Florida Key in The Village of Books (Montolieu) back in June, I finally managed to obtain a copy of the newspaper in which it was covered, for all to see. 

But I didn't really understand what it said, until I got it translated recently.

I read it with eager anticipation. I smiled at the reporting. I laughed at 'Elton John' comment. 

But then . . . WHAT???!!!

Zut alors, mon dieu, et SACRÉ BLEU. PAH!